This Mindful Moment: Building Your Relationship Buffet
It’s natural to feel a longing for companionship, that deep desire to share your life with someone who sees and appreciates you. For many of us, this longing can lead to a sense of loneliness or even a feeling of being incomplete. In those moments, it’s easy to focus on what’s missing, imagining that a partner would fill the void and satisfy that hunger for connection and love.
However, imagine relationships as a buffet. If we approach relationships while starving, we might rush to fill our plate with whatever’s offered, without considering whether it truly satisfies us. We might accept just any company or affection because we’re operating from a place of emptiness. But what if we were to nourish ourselves first, creating a buffet of love, attention, and care for ourselves? When we start from a place of fullness, a partner becomes a welcomed addition, bringing an extra dish to an already satisfying spread.
Creating your relationship buffet doesn’t mean giving up on partnership. It means acknowledging that while a relationship may add richness to your life, it isn’t the only ingredient to fulfillment. By cultivating self-love, compassion, and joy, you lay a strong foundation that doesn’t rely on another person to make you whole. When the right person does come along, they add depth and flavor, enhancing what’s already there without being essential for survival.
A Mindfulness Practice: Tending Your Inner Table
To cultivate this sense of wholeness, try this short meditation practice.
1. Find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Feel the weight of your body resting, fully supported by the ground or seat beneath you.
2. Visualize a table in front of you, filled with everything that nourishes and delights you. Imagine items that represent love, peace, laughter, and fulfillment. See them clearly, noticing colors, textures, and the feelings they bring.
3. Ask yourself: What do I already have that brings me joy? What am I grateful for that fills me up? Take a few moments to mentally “add” these items to your table, letting it grow abundant and beautiful.
4. Invite a sense of self-compassion, reminding yourself that you have the power to bring love, attention, and care into your life, whether or not a partner is present. Imagine yourself savoring the fullness of this table, knowing you are enough just as you are.
5. Gently return to the present, carrying the feeling of fullness with you, knowing that any future relationship will be a delightful addition to the feast you’ve created.
Take a moment to acknowledge this inner abundance and know that your self-love is the foundation upon which any future relationship will flourish.
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